


The Heart in the Matter

by HeraNightShade



Series: Spider-Man+Deadpool=Spideypool 4Ever [2]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Established Relationship, Guns, Living Together, M/M, Target Practice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-29 04:02:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6358378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeraNightShade/pseuds/HeraNightShade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Deadpool challenges Black Widow to see who's the better marksman. Spider-Man and Hawkeye watch the epic match go down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Heart in the Matter

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know. I'm procrastinating like crazy to write a story for my creative writing class, and somehow Spideypool sounded more appealing to write. Sorry? You're Welcome? Choose which one works for you.

“Is this really necessary?” Spider-Man asks, rubbing his temples idly as he looks between Deadpool and Black Widow. 

“Someone’s got to shut up the merc with the mouth at some point,” Hawkeye stage-whispers, lips pulled into a smirk as he watches Black Widow prepare her gun. 

“I heard that!” Deadpool calls over, frown pulling on the fabric of his mask, “And my Spidey will vouch for the fact that he loves my mouth! And he would never want it to shut!” He proceeds to use his two guns to make a vague heart shape, and completes the effect with kissy noises and a foot pop. 

“Wade, why do you always get yourself into these situations?” Spider-Man asks, walking over to his boyfriend’s side as Hawkeye goes to set up the targets. 

“But Petey, this time I know I can win. I value my guns over my own life! I once died to save Boom-Boom-Pow, y’know! Threw my body right over her—and they say I’m not a hero! And you know how good of a marksman I am! Can you imagine the look on her face when I win? I’ll be the skateboarding master and the master marksman!” 

“Yeah keep telling yourself that,” Black Widow finally speaks up, lips quirked upwards as she comfortably grips her gun, leaning against the partition and waiting for Hawkeye to finish.

“Alright,” Hawkeye’s voice resonates throughout the target practice room, his hands clapping together as he looks between the three other heroes in the room.  
Deadpool stands there casually, twirling his gun as if he was a cowboy in a past life, grin overtaking his face as Spider-Man cautiously gives him the thumbs-up sign. Black Widow just looks bored. 

“The person who gets the most heart-shots wins. That means aim for the heart, Wilson,” Hawkeye’s voice is dripping in sarcasm when he addresses Deadpool, but the genuine smile reveals that it’s all in good fun. The archer and the merc settled their differences long ago. 

“Yeah, yeah. Be boring and go for a clean one-and-done shot. It’s not nearly as fun and messy as a head shot, but I suppose I can go by your rules to show off to Spidey-babe over here!” he blows an air-kiss to the man in red and blue. 

Spider-Man facepalms, but still uses his other hand to catch the kiss. The giddiness he feels every time Wade does anything romantic is not lost just because of the presence of the other two in the room. His face still turns bright red, and his heart-rate still accelerates ever so slightly. Though the amused looks he gets from them is still embarrassing as all hell. 

“If you two are done being adorable,” Black Widow begins, “I have a mission I’ve got to be at in two hours,” she says, raising an amused eyebrow at Spider-Man. 

“We will never not be adorable!” Deadpool exclaims, throwing his arms around Spider-Man and kissing him on the cheek through the masks. 

“Wade, you got yourself into this. Just start shooting at hearts before I die of embarrassment,” Spider-Man pats Deadpool on the shoulder before stepping back to where Hawkeye wandered to. Both know the two expertly-trained killers would never misstep and accidentally hit either of them, but the addition of them may ruin their concentration. Hawkeye presses the button behind them which makes the targets begin moving in all directions. 

“Ladies first,” Deadpool announces loudly, bowing dramatically as his arms motion for her to begin shooting at the targets. 

Black Widow nods, holding her gun between her two hands in a grip which makes it obvious that she spends more time with a gun in her hand than without. She pulls the trigger.

Perfect heart shot. 

She does the same thing again for the next fourteen shots, each shot landing square in the center of the heart of the targets. 

The entire time, her concentration is absolute, her turning into the killing machine she was trained to be in the Red Room. Though when she’s done, a content smile appears on her face, and she switches the safety back into place. 

“Your turn,” she says simply, making her way back to where Hawkeye and Spider-Man stand. 

Hawkeye has a little grin on his face, completely used to his colleague’s amazing abilities. At the beginning, he used to stand slack-jawed and impressed that he finally found someone with aim as good as his own. Now, fortunately, or unfortunately, the novelty has worn off. Though he does still feel that bit of pride that he found her and brought her here. 

Spider-Man on the other hand, is slack-jawed, his mask pulled taught over his lips in the expression. Then, abruptly, he begins laughing, doubling over as he slaps his thigh, “Oh Wade, don’t worry. I’ll still love you even if you lose,” he gets out through giggles. 

“Petey, I feel offended. How could you not believe in me?” Deadpool asks, frown prominent on his masked face as he switches the safety off his own gun and caresses it. 

“Because she just got fifteen perfect shots in a row, and you don’t have the patience to aim for the same spot every single time,” Spider-Man replies, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall. 

Deadpool blows a raspberry before he fires, not even looking behind himself as the bullet goes straight through the heart of one of the targets. 

Hawkeye’s mouth forms an impressed O, and Black Widow’s eyebrows both raise at that, exchanging a glance with each other before looking at Spider-Man. 

Spider-Man’s smiling widely. He’d always known Wade was a good shot—he was a mercenary after all. The best mercenary, actually. Though he never really understood what that meant until he started getting to know the merc better and watched him never miss his target on patrols. And he was even aiming for non-vital organs since Spider-Man still had that pesky rule of not killing anyone. 

However, things quickly go downhill from there. The next fourteen shots land first slightly to the left of the heart, then slowly go downwards, then slowly to the right. He never hits a perfect shot again, though that’s probably because of how much he’s messing around. 

The second shot, he shoots from under his leg, then behind his back, then upside down, then with his feet. Every new shot is slightly more radical than the last, and eventually, he’s got his eyes closed, back turned to the targets, is standing on one foot on his tiptoes, and his hand not holding the gun is rubbing his belly. Needless to say, he’s not taking it seriously at all. And the running commentary throughout the entirety of his turn doesn’t seem to help either. Though he wouldn’t be called the merc with the mouth without it. 

After the final shot is fired, he thumbs the safety back on and holsters the gun. A smirk can be seen through the mask as he heads over towards the others, “You guys see that? I, unfortunately, had my eyes closed, but it must have been a sight to behold, am I right? Of course I am! I won, right? I’m pretty sure I beat you, lady bug. But no hard feelings, I know you aren’t nearly crazy enough to get on my level. I could give you one-on-one lessons if you’d like—I won’t even tell SHIELD!” 

Both SHIELD agents seem amused beyond belief, whereas Spider-Man is simply wishing that a black hole would suddenly appear and suck both him and Deadpool through it. 

“Actually, Deadpool, Tasha won,” Hawkeye finally speaks up, wrapping his arm across her shoulders in a move that any other person would probably be tortured thoroughly and unpleasantly for. However, for him, Black Widow simply smiles a tiny smile, which for any other person would probably equal screaming while jumping up and down and gloating in the loser’s face. 

“Better luck next time, mercenary,” Black Widow says before turning and walking out of the room with Hawkeye, both headed on a mission on some SHIELD mission that’s so classified one would probably combust upon learning about it if they didn’t have a high enough clearance level. 

Spider-Man waves to them before he presses the button to stop the targets’ moving, shaking his head, “Why’d you mess around the whole time? I thought you wanted to be the master marksman of the Avengers?” 

Deadpool, still smiling, shakes his head, scooping the shorter man into his arms and twirling him in a circle a couple times. 

“Wade,” Spider-Man whines, holding onto Deadpool’s costume with his sticky fingers just to make sure he isn’t dropped, “put me down!” He can’t keep the smile out of his tone, however. 

Deadpool sets him down once again, smile even bigger than before as he leans in and gives the younger man an Eskimo kiss, “Oh baby boy, I don’t need to impress the other Avengers so long as I’ve got you.” 

Spider-Man shakes his head fondly as Wade pulls both their masks above their mouths, “You’re turning into a sap, Wade Wilson. But as I said before, I still love you even though you lost.” 

“And I love you even though you’re an arachnid,” Deadpool gushes, then takes advantage of the pulled-up masks and Spider-Man’s sticky fingers as he wraps his hands around Spider-Man’s thighs and picks him up once again, though this time leans him against the wall as their lips find each other. 

The two play tonsil hockey for a few minutes, assured that they won’t be disturbed seeing as this is a private room they were only allowed into because of Hawkeye and Black Widow. However, after a while, Spider-Man pulls away, smile firmly in place as he looks into Deadpool’s mask eyes. 

“I’ve got to get to work, but I’ll see you at home after?” Spider-Man asks hopefully, biting his bottom lip. Of course, this causes Deadpool to look from the Spider-Man mask eyes to Peter’s lips, and to lick his own lips in response. 

“I should be there when you’re done Mr. Parker,” Deadpool responds huskily, purposely using his bedroom voice to get a rise out of the Parker Industries CEO. 

“Now’s the time when you let me down,” Spider-Man reminds him, tightening his thighs around the torso of the older man for a moment before Deadpool squeezes his butt and then lets him down. 

“I’ll never let go, Jack!” Deadpool laments, throwing a hand over his forehead dramatically as Spider-Man awkwardly walks away. 

~*~*~

That night, when Peter gets home, he frowns when he doesn’t see Wade anywhere in their penthouse. However, he does see a hastily-wrapped present sitting proudly on the  
table in their foyer, a letter written in red crayon next to it. 

_Baby Boy,_

_Sorry I won’t be home tonight—Avengers called me on a mission. I should be home by tomorrow._

_More importantly, you asked me why I didn’t try earlier with Black Widow._

_They told me to make a heart-shot, so I couldn’t resist. And since you’re my heart, it rightfully belongs to you._

_Love and kisses,_

_Wade_

With creased eyebrows, Peter unwraps the present to reveal the fifteen targets placed on top of each other, placed in a frame. 

The gunshots together form a perfect heart shape.

**Author's Note:**

> Well that happened. Please let me know what you thought and if I suck at life at writing Spideypool. Or if I'm actually decent. You decide!


End file.
